a good start!

My first permanent job (hopefully) has started for a week! so far i see everyone in the office has simple dressing and looks. i have not much pressure as there are no competitors in fashion! But i am not sure about their strengths!!! But when come to age, i feel so lonely as most all of them are above 30 yrs old and only few ladies are stil in their late 20s while i m in my beginning of my 20s!!! i feel so proud for being the youngest in this company but still, so lonely as no one talk to me things about what my age is suppose to be doing! Not to mention guys as there are only 30% and most of them are old!!! My definition for old is above 30yrs old and not the handsome type, not interested in finding out whether they are still single or married!

Lunch time, aunties talk about marriages, kids, husbands...i get to learn all of this but wondering when can i start using all these? start thinking whether i should continue with this co as i cant find a person who can talk to me like my friends who normally did. Should i consider joining their group or keep to my own style and wait for the right time to do the right thing?

Being a fresh grad to join a 10 yrs old co is a very challenging job to me. Following the seniors who has 8 yrs of experience makes me feel happy as i could learn from them! But at the same time, makes me feel so stupid as i only have theories in my mind but not any practical experience! As i answered my manager during the interview, AT THIS STAGE, LEARNING IS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME...so i have to bear with it!

I am still doing things using my own style, and of cos, walk and stand and sit and eat with MY OWN STYLE where new ppl will not like it, only ppl who are very close to me will understand me! so, whenever new ppl see me, they will stay far away from me! I am a weird person in their eyes

Believe...Or not?

It's just a believe, are you sure?
Some says you came back quietly and peacefully and didnt disturb us...
Some says you didnt come back as you are good and happy with your current life in another world...
Some says it's just a believe...

As everyone knows, a deceased person has 49 days to come back and visit their love ones, but did grany come back on and off to see us? We dont know...

Prepared lots of her favourite food and lock ourselves in the room from 8.30pm as we believe that you will be back from 9pm-3am... trying to wait for you to come back and listen to all the noises of pots in the kitchen, keys opening door, Merz engine sound sending you back...but all i hear on that night was rain drops and the speed of the fan hanging on the ceiling...and soon fall asleep...

Everyone is hoping for good numbers but no one strike first prize yet! my second uncle was the most funny person, he asked my dad to write a letter in chinese, hoping grany will give him some first prize numbers...hahaha

the days without po-po

It has been 2 weeks since the day u left me and ur love ones, i stil cant forget the moment i see the msg written on my skype ' grandma passed away ' at 4.15pm on 22nd of oct 2009...

it was a sunny day. i was so busy packing my luggages as i will be flying back from perth for good on early friday morning. i was so excited about my return as i could drive back to BG together with mom and ah yee immediately after our arrival on friday noon and see you at late evening and take you out for dinner, breakfast lunch dinner and so on for the remaining days...but somehow, everything was really fated and there goes my lovely grandma...

do you know i regret not calling you on thursday morning to inform you that i will be back tmr? do u know i feel so depressed when i know that your last breath was in the bathroom? everytime when i walk into the bathroom, i think of you...i rmb the days when i shower you...

po-po, i miss you so much

i hear a lot of stories about the maid and i hope she wasn't the person who caused your death, i hope she didnt treat you bad in the past 3 yrs, i hope she gets her punishment for how she had treated you...

i am not in the mood to look for a job but still, i force myself to go and look for one...i feel like cleaning my WHOLE hse but i do not have the rights to touch this and that, so what can i do? leave all rubbishes lying there for another yr and one more yr and another century? lolzzz..that's impossible!