everyone is changing...

Friends come and go, but i know if we put in effort in a friendship, they will not go easily..so lets work hard to build a strong friendship to celebrate our anniversary from now on!

i still feel tat u r by my side

after 50 days u've gone quietly, everyone here still miss you deeply in their heart. i wish all these are just a dream but unfortunately they are not!

uncle from penang came down with his family, since young i love this family so much, i was taken care by 3rd aunt since 1 mth old...i think that's why i love hanging around with them. and this is the only time we get together, i guess the yee's family relationship will not be as close as last time but i hope they can have more time to get together...

feel happy to see so many people as i love gatherings but recently, i feel like missing someone from the gathering. From now on, whenever we go back to BG, there is no one there waiting for us, no one there waiving to us. I feel so sad but to tell myself to stay strong...

heard from mom saying that she is not used to go back now as it's so quiet at home, i agree, i feel sad as mom is going to miss her mother forever. heard from 3rd auntie saying that she cant believe that grany left so sudden and still miss her alot. heard from 3rd uncle saying that he is so used in calling grany everyday at 7pm, and now, he still picks up his hp and wanted to call but came to realise that his mother is not around to pick up his call anymore..i feel so sad listening to all these...

i've been thinking day and night, will grany knows that we miss her alot and wish that she is still alive? will grany knows ???

why do ppl says deceased person will come into our dream? i want to see you in my dream if it's real too. i want to ask grany, how are you there?

wish time could pause and bring me back to the 19s... that was the time when grany is super strong and travels here and there buying me souvenirs! i miss you grany...

a good start!

My first permanent job (hopefully) has started for a week! so far i see everyone in the office has simple dressing and looks. i have not much pressure as there are no competitors in fashion! But i am not sure about their strengths!!! But when come to age, i feel so lonely as most all of them are above 30 yrs old and only few ladies are stil in their late 20s while i m in my beginning of my 20s!!! i feel so proud for being the youngest in this company but still, so lonely as no one talk to me things about what my age is suppose to be doing! Not to mention guys as there are only 30% and most of them are old!!! My definition for old is above 30yrs old and not the handsome type, not interested in finding out whether they are still single or married!

Lunch time, aunties talk about marriages, kids, husbands...i get to learn all of this but wondering when can i start using all these? start thinking whether i should continue with this co as i cant find a person who can talk to me like my friends who normally did. Should i consider joining their group or keep to my own style and wait for the right time to do the right thing?

Being a fresh grad to join a 10 yrs old co is a very challenging job to me. Following the seniors who has 8 yrs of experience makes me feel happy as i could learn from them! But at the same time, makes me feel so stupid as i only have theories in my mind but not any practical experience! As i answered my manager during the interview, AT THIS STAGE, LEARNING IS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME...so i have to bear with it!

I am still doing things using my own style, and of cos, walk and stand and sit and eat with MY OWN STYLE where new ppl will not like it, only ppl who are very close to me will understand me! so, whenever new ppl see me, they will stay far away from me! I am a weird person in their eyes

Believe...Or not?

It's just a believe, are you sure?
Some says you came back quietly and peacefully and didnt disturb us...
Some says you didnt come back as you are good and happy with your current life in another world...
Some says it's just a believe...

As everyone knows, a deceased person has 49 days to come back and visit their love ones, but did grany come back on and off to see us? We dont know...

Prepared lots of her favourite food and lock ourselves in the room from 8.30pm as we believe that you will be back from 9pm-3am... trying to wait for you to come back and listen to all the noises of pots in the kitchen, keys opening door, Merz engine sound sending you back...but all i hear on that night was rain drops and the speed of the fan hanging on the ceiling...and soon fall asleep...

Everyone is hoping for good numbers but no one strike first prize yet! my second uncle was the most funny person, he asked my dad to write a letter in chinese, hoping grany will give him some first prize numbers...hahaha

the days without po-po

It has been 2 weeks since the day u left me and ur love ones, i stil cant forget the moment i see the msg written on my skype ' grandma passed away ' at 4.15pm on 22nd of oct 2009...

it was a sunny day. i was so busy packing my luggages as i will be flying back from perth for good on early friday morning. i was so excited about my return as i could drive back to BG together with mom and ah yee immediately after our arrival on friday noon and see you at late evening and take you out for dinner, breakfast lunch dinner and so on for the remaining days...but somehow, everything was really fated and there goes my lovely grandma...

do you know i regret not calling you on thursday morning to inform you that i will be back tmr? do u know i feel so depressed when i know that your last breath was in the bathroom? everytime when i walk into the bathroom, i think of you...i rmb the days when i shower you...

po-po, i miss you so much

i hear a lot of stories about the maid and i hope she wasn't the person who caused your death, i hope she didnt treat you bad in the past 3 yrs, i hope she gets her punishment for how she had treated you...

i am not in the mood to look for a job but still, i force myself to go and look for one...i feel like cleaning my WHOLE hse but i do not have the rights to touch this and that, so what can i do? leave all rubbishes lying there for another yr and one more yr and another century? lolzzz..that's impossible!

everything came too fast

i couldnt accept the fact!
everything came too fast...
a happy birthday turned out to be a sad funeral...
my last talk wif her was mths ago! my last meet up wif her was in february 2009...

a very strong and independent grany is no longer in this world! i only see her lying in the coffin with her pretty face and eyes closed...

grany, why didnt you wait for one more day more? everyone of us were about to reach home to sing you a birthday song and blow candles and cut the big big birthday cake!

all these nvr happen anymore, we could only light up candles and joss sticks and burn the 'money' for you! i cant get angpow from you anymore!

i am curious about ur death grany, could you pls tell me the truth on how it was during that day? could you pls tell me if the maid had treaten you bad? could you pls tell me?

i feel happy for janet, my cousin who got to kiss my grany for her first and last time weeks ago when she went back to BG, i feel happy for my dad and mom who went back a week before grany passed away to see her!

i feel sad for myself not being a good grand daughter! grany, i cant forget the days when you were weak and i took care of you, taking shower for you, feeding you, massaging your hands and legs, sleeping with you!

grany left us not because she was ill, i believe she is too tired throughout the 90 yrs...

pls R.I.P..

i will miss you forever! i will nvr forget you, thanks grany for taking care of me for the past 22 yrs and always smile to me when you see me! i miss everything of you!

is busy life a good thing to me?

9th May 2009

It has been more than a month since the last posting! Why? It's all because of my laziness and busy life. It sounds good when i have a long break in the mid of April, 2 weeks of break, i wish to go for holidays and spend more time with friends since my family are far away from me. But who knows, during the first week, i ended up sitting at home watching dramas and eating and sleeping and also, EXERCISE! Well, this kinda life doesn's suit me at all. Sounds like i cant be a housewife in future...

Found a job and starts working during my second week of break, so happy! I got income now! well, this job sounds easy, but when i first do it, i feel so stress, cause i never do all these before! It's working at a bubble tea shop. So far, i have been working for about 3 weeks, working on 4 days a week standing and shouting and moving around non stop! The only benefits i get is the free drinks and breads. The pay is super low and i feel so stupid working for this shop, but thinking of money and the economy crisis which hit us, i will just do it! Well, i also get muscles on my arms again! No need to go for gym.

4 days of working, 2 days of uni, 1 day to REST or HANG OUT? Well, i choose to stay at home and rest while online, i realised that i have missed out lots of things, missed out the chit chatting with friends every night as i go to bed early and wake up early the next morning for exercise. I missed out all yum chas with friends here cause i dont want to come home late with a tired soul( i rather sleep more than drinking ).

Cant wait for my first pay and i want to spend it? No way, i have to bank them into my account and save it for piggie and mommy's arrival in Sept, i miss you... Hope dad could make it by then...

Tata, need to go for work again! Oh ya, i had a midterm this morning, and for the first time, i am 30 mins early! cause i thought paper starts at 9, but it actually starts at 9.30, omg, i didnt know and kept on blaming the lecturer who starts it late (sorry)

I just came to realize that i have no pics in my laptop for this blog! Sorry gh n kz, this is the only one i have. Talking about them, this rich boss flew to melbourne and sydney for his honey moon and had a short gathering wif gh, you are so lucky! i am so envy, but cant help it, extremely regret on my last trip to up north, but it's all overed! forget about it, gotta look fwd for a better life still. ciao!

hoping too much from you as a friend

30th March

I thought i could hold on till the last day we see each other, i thought i could be calm..i thought i can persuade myself to think less and be more observant...but it's just all what i thought and it's just all rubbish in the end!

How can a person like me treat you so good and yet, getting this back?okay, maybe to you, that wasnt good enough, but you didnt know how much i treasure our friendship! I know i shouldnt have crossed the border but i am trying hard to pull myself off from it. Dateline is finished, time is passing very fast. Everything has come to an end and i have to get myself up and start my engine for the very last semester! Only 2 papers for finals, so what the hell m i doin now? GO THINK FOR MY OWN FUTURE AND NOT BOUT RUBBISH ANYMORE! i promised, i can do better without you by my side. I dun give a shit to it anymore! You go your way, i go my way.

This blog is to apologize to you. I didnt mean to say all those words to you in the sms, you might be wonderin whats wrong wif me. I bet you are gonna avoid me and our friendship will just be like water pouring out from an aquarium, fish dying without water. Sorry for being so emo recently, i think it was because i'm putting hope on you. And that was so wrong! So all the best to you, and i have no idea how to face you, i shall just go back to my own life. i wish we are not going to see each other, at least i dun feel so awkward.

It's my 22nd without you by my side

28th March

Once again, it's my birthday! this yr, i m celebrating the 22nd, no more forever 21(sis said so). Quite happy to celebrate it in Perth, at least it's something new and memorable for me. On the other hand, i felt like missing something here, my family and friends in msia. Last yr was a blast celebration for me. i missed it so much!

This yr, i have experienced something different. Catch a bus to the city by myself (always got 'ahmad' send me to destination in msia). Wait for all friends (msian is unpunctual) on the road side for 30 mins. Dinner at northbridge and Karaoke session at Crown till 1 am, then yum cha till 3 am...it was a countdown for me! Luckily i didnt get drunk, but to be honest, i was so sleepy! I think my friends who fall asleep once they got home were 30%tired + 70%effects of alcohol. I only managed to sleep for 4 hours plus. Thats what happened to me after alcohol.

In the afternoon, i celebrated my birthday with my family via SKYPE. It was fantastic! They cut the cake and blow the candles and eat it all by themselves! Leaving me drooling in front of the laptop. Not to forget, we took a pic together for remembrance. Hope to celebrate my birthday with you guys next year.

In the evening, my uncle and aunty decided to go to the foreshore for a picnic dinner(KFC). It was a very windy day and weather was so nice. I love green..i love outdoor activities..i always wanted to organise somethin like this, but everyone always turn me down and laughed at me whenever i say this! I love to breath in the fresh air, enjoy the wind(but not the sun), looking at the water flowing and listen to the birds singing.

Very glad to have a bunch of friends who are so friendly and nice ppl. A big thanks to the organiser( i have no idea, isit wl or kim? ) A big thanks to all my friends who make me happy on that day. Once again, to WL n KIM, i love you guys so much! thanks for spending time with me in this busy week (they have lots of midterms).

Thanks to my friends who gave me wonderful presents, especially Richard, the entertainer who bought me a pair of nipples home slipper, i have no idea when will i put that on! Friends whom sent me sms, thanks for the wishes and remembering my birthday. I was so shocked to received a hand made birthday card from my sis( she did this for me every yr, but i still love receiving it ). Thanks to my uncle who took it all the way back from msia, he has to handle with care as it was all handmade stuffs. Thanks sis for the warm messages. Last but not least, my parents who gave me a big angpow!

Dont step on my TAIL

Sunday, 15th March

Looking at my laptop, thinking of assignments, tax quizes, mid terms, finals.........
The next thing which comes into my mind is the B**** who keep picking on me during my first day of work at PCEC yesterday! She is just too much, i guess she is facing some menstrual problem! or she is jealous of us, young and capable!

Early in the morning complained about my fringe, no one clips up their fringe like you, old lady!(this is an indo chinese woman who does not speak chinese, she is actually in her late 20s or beginning of her 30s only). She interviewed me and gave me good impression of her kindness but now she is totally a B****.

At the end of the day, she spoke in Malay to MR 'ONDUN'(the highest post supervisor among all of them) asking him to TENGOK BUDAK ITU(which means me). This time, she indirectly 'commented' on my nice straight cut black pants which makes her feel like i am going CLUBBING with it! Oh come on, who puts on such a long black pants and go shaking their ass? You are really an old woman! Ladies now either put on mini skirts/shorts or low cut dress for clubbing! No one puts on black slacks for clubbing, pls go back to your 80s if you want! B**** BTW, i am a PURE CHINESE from MALAYSIA and i understand MALAY! (she thought i am either a hong kie or china doll) SHIT you, the next time you speak malay infront of me i will give you a big stare and ask you TENGOK APA AMOI, BODOH BETUL!

It's so boring today as i have no dates, so just sit at home with all my books and dramas :)

disappointed at you

Tuesday 10th March

Met up with HIM and few friends for lunch in the city. Enjoyed my first sushi in Perth. It's delicious. But i didnt enjoy the outing. Listened to one of my advisor's advise, to be more concern about HIM. So i make a bottle of honey water for HIM as he is still sick.

I can still rmb how he reacted to me clearly! HE gave me a big stare and i walked away. Later on, he avoided me! It's so damn obvious that he avoids me. He walked fast to the bus stop, i didnt want to go to the same bus stop as him but i have to, cos my bus picks me up from there too. HE and another friend kept on laughing and i couldnt be bothered, call up my buddy and got scolded for being so silly and not listenin to his advise, sorry...

I will not repeat my mistakes and i will not treat him good anymore, just go back to normal and as what a friend taught me, be COOL and IGNORE him on and off.

I can be very nice and sweet to a person and i can also be very cruel to a person when i m angry or disappointed. Pls not make me treat you this way MR K. But unfortunately, u have already make me do so!Pls stay away from me, go out of my life, i don't want you to ruin my mood anymore, i don't want you to make me happy or sad, most of all, i don't want to see you

moving my ass off from the chair

Sunday, 8 th of March
Wild life park is not as fun as what i was expecting! Disappointed with it. How come wild life park that boss visited is so fun? The one in perth is so small. All animals are so sleepy! Weather is so hot! Making me feel lazy after an hour of walk. I only maanged to touch the kangaroo, koala was not allowed to be touched. I will go China and find one..hahaha!

Basketball game was on in the evening. Quite happy as i haven been playing this game for yrs! I used to play it well. But somehow, this group of players have a bunch of 'beaches' in. But couldn't be bothered as YOU are there with me. Enjoyed playing alot. It's my first time watching you playing while joining the game too!

Not happy these few days as i discovered so many things which make me think more and become sad. I am glad to have all of you with me when i am in this situation. Thanks to all my consultants. I am full of energy and it's a brand new day! Looking fwd to accept new challenges and i will beat YOU down this time.

Emo Emo Emo

Same things happening in my life. Uni, house, uni, house…whr is my job? I need a job to survive! I need a job to keep me alert! I need a job to make my life busy! Very boring with my life now. Only having 2 days of uni, other than that, I have nothing else to do besides going down to the city.

A friend of mine came to me and ask me this Q all of a sudden. The Q was, do u plan to pak toh now? After answering her, I wonder how she knows what I am looking for now? Was my action too obvious? If yes, how can’t he feel it? He is not that stupid!
Alright, encouragement from friends are good but I am not the type of person who can make the first step. The most I can do is to hint to him or to stay by his side and just wait, cos I have no guts!

My jealousy is giving me a huge problem in all matters. How can I overcome it?
Very emo now, better go to bed early. More news about me coming up soon!

same feeling

Once again, I am sitting in the aeroplane typing my blog. I’ve been through tis kinda feelings half a yr ago but today I still could feel the same. Now, I gotta face it, hope tis wil b the last time. Last july, parents didn’t send me to the airport as I depart from spore. Sis couldn’t make it as that day was her convo too. This year, I am lucky that my parents manage to send me off at LCCT. However, sis still couldn’t make it cause she gotta work for her internship.

My parents are really strong, I never see them tear in front of me. I was the one who kept on tearing while saying bye to them, giving a big hug to them, sms-ing mom and friends, typing this blog as well. Ok, I need to be strong too, face all new challenges and also the weather which gives my skin a big problem. Gotta overcome all by myself. NEVER FALL SICK~~~

I hope all things in msia could just pause and wait for me to be back, quite selfish, yes I know, but I just dun wish to miss anything out there! Dad and mom, thanks for giving me such a wonderful holidays. I know both of you are not happy with me just sitting at home, watching my dramas, doing nothing, but I cant help it, cos I feel that if I do not take this opportunity to stay at home, I am gonna miss it for the next 6 mths, and also in future, I dun have such a long holidays to enjoy, all my time will be fulfill by WORK~~~Thanks to my lovely sis for being so patient with me. (not to forget, let me bully as well)…I will earn more money for you guys to spend..pls wait!

I hope the next time I come back, all my friends will stil be the same like now, or even better in terms of friendship, I believe our friendship will last forever if everyone puts in an effort to maintain it. There is nothing impossible in MY WORLD!!! LETS WORK HARD

It’s raining heavily tis morning, what does it stands for? Are YOU sad that I m leaving? Sitting right at the back of the plane again, what a ‘nice’ seat, at least compared to the front ones, I have more privacy here. No one sitting next to me, allowing me to have more space and sleep in whatever position I like, but kinda sien, no zai to kap in this plane! Palia airport, the boarding area is flooded, luckily the water didn’t flow into the one and only DUTY FREE shop! Walk all the way to the aeroplane with an umbrella provided, really need to reconsider shifting your terminal again la palia airport. Food in RED RED flight is terrible. No choices, all nasi lemak!! The next time I gotta order VEGETARIAN food edy. suffering from period pain in the plane is even worst, makes me no mood for the day anymore, hope there will be some surprises later. The weather is not that good, the flight cant fly stablily. Really scary, I nearly cant stand it, feel like vomiting so many times, especially when I am already sick.

But luckily there is this palia airport, or else, I cant come back with a cheaper air ticket.

Wish to give family a surprise by end of this sem, so friends in perth, dun simply ask me out, but pls intro more jobs to me! Thanks…

LOVE ALL OF YOU

what is LIFE?

i hate this blog, it's not a happy one!time flies, counting down to 24th of feb, hav only 12 more days to go...lots of things to worry, think, settle..lots of things to buy, pack as well..

farewells?outings?dinners?all over again..................

can i be a pig and sleep as much as i can?

lets fatt choy this year!!!

Well, I have been waiting for this day to arrive, the Chinese New Year. I always look forward for this day as I felt that it’s the most happening day in my life each year. Besides all celebrations, this is the only time for all the members of the Yee family to meet up and have fun gossiping or gambling or laughing together.
Unfortunately, all my cousins have grown up and most of them are married with kids now. Those olden day happy moments could only be my memories now.

I always hope that the first day of CNY could be paused for 365 days, I dun look at the calendar to check out what is the date for today after the first day of CNY.lolz. I recalled that last year, I didn’t get to celebrate CNY in BG as I was having finals on the 5th day of CNY, so after a day trip back to BG, I sleep, eat, shit with my notes. This year, it’s my sis’s turn.

Grany is no longer as strong as those days. Her health has deteriorated so much compared to last year. This year, she doesn’t know it’s CNY, I felt so sad when I see her being like this. I hope she can have good health and be happy for the rest of her life. Somehow sometimes at somewhere, she is extremely alert! Amazing…keep it up grany.

Another 21 days, I will be leaving this piece of land again. I am not sure when will be my next return. I have no idea how would my life be after I’ve graduated. I hope all things will be organized properly and I enjoy life! I hope everyone that I concern could stay happy and have good health together with good wealth! GONG HEI FATT CHOY

honey moon

Well,after 2 months of holidays in Msia, i have a conclusion, i think msia suits me more than Aus. How come? before studying aboard, i prefer overseas life than msia. To be honest, i dun like the politics problem or whatever shit that we read from newspapers daily. But looking at other countries, they have their own problem too..Ok, fine..what about snatch thieves and all those robbery cases? At least Aus is not as serious as here yet. But no one can say, till the economy improves.

Home sweet home...my bed is the most comfortable one! My tv, radio, car, bathroom, toilet, garden are the best, and of cos, my mom's cooking is always the most yummylicious one.hahaha...talking about weather, i prefer the weather here more than Aus, at least it's the same for the whole yr, but thinking about 4 seasons, it's quite fun too, at least i get to dress differently every 3 months! But the dry weather is giving my skin lots of problems.

So what have i been doing for these few months? Well, at first i wanted to take summer course here, but there are no subjects offered for me. So, i just eat, sleep, play...felt quite useless at the beginning,but thinking of after graduation, i will be stepping into the working world, i wont have such time for leisures or family. later on, i began to help out all stuffs at home, learn cooking from mom after finish resting my injured right foot! i still cant put on my lovely high heels and walk like a princess on the street. i cant join my frens for clubbing too.

Lots of gatherings waiting for me to organise, lots of ppl to meet up, lots of things waiting for me to buy too!i see megasales everywhere, but too bad, i didnt bring back enough money for shoppin, so next trip!

Quite happy to see my 3rd uncle who came down from penang for 2 weeks of vocation. Spent lots of time with his family, celebrated sis's birthday together, then xmas, then new year...wow! it's so great to be with my family! some of my friends kept asking me out for this and that but i rejected many of them as i still prefer to stay at home and accompany my mom, or i should say, i wanna sleep!(dont be mad at me, cos to me, my family comes first). I can just spend my whole day sitting and watching drama till i fall asleep, and awaked by daddy for DINNER!